PROMPT: Sink or Swim

Daily Prompt: Sink or Swim

Tell us about a time when you were left on your own, to fend for yourself in an overwhelming situation — on the job, at home, at school. What was the outcome? show us PERSEVERANCE.

 

Wow, I feel like my entire life has been sink or swim. Seriously.

To the point that I wonder what is wrong with me? I mean, what is fundamentally wrong with me? I mean, I am smart. I am willing to work. I mind my own business. I don’t bother anyone. But I seem to be in this endless cycle of things are okay, to things being overwhelming. There doesn’t seem to be an in-between.

I do know perseverance is a trait that must be chosen. It is too easy to crawl up in the fetal position and give up. One must choose to continue to get up, breathe, move, and think. Then one must choose to keep moving. Keep thinking.

As far as ‘being left on my own’ to ‘fend for myself’? I cannot remember a time I had anyone else to shoulder life with. It’s always been just me.

I’ve been a single mother for 17 years. I have raised my son by myself. I have been a single homeowner for over a decade. I have dealt with the utility companies when the cable or electric doesn’t work. I have waded through my flooded basement. I have survived 10 days with no electricity through the ice storm. I have dealt with the broken down cars. I have taken my son to the emergency room with a broken bone. I have dodged family drama and family dynamics. I have juggled surviving off of no money. I have bought, renovated and sold homes by myself. I have fought the stupid, seemingly unnecessary fights in court with my former husband.

I don’t know what sharing life and all that comes with it would feel like. Does it make it easier? Or is it even more complicated because then there are two sets of human thoughts, feelings and emotions to deal with? On my own, I just do whatever needs to be done the best way I see fit.

It would be nice to have a stronger person around to do some heavy lifting. But, seriously … I can’t imagine what it feels like to have someone else to just get ‘it’ done.

As for the ‘outcome’ … hmmm … I guess we’ll see.

As for sink or swim? I’m still swimming.

 

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One Response to “PROMPT: Sink or Swim”

  1. God’s Grace | A mom's blog Says:

    […] PROMPT: Sink or Swim | AvaLlea’s Blog […]

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